He’s a total fucking eejit, a total fucking nonsense
You cannot be fucking serious, elect a chump like that
To be a fucking leader? He’s a total fucking twat
If he ends up in Number Ten, we may as well all fuck off
Alexander Boris de Falafel Johnson, a total fucking toff
Just wants to be Prime Mincer, doesn’t give a fucking toss
He wants us out of Europe at any fucking cost
Hates immigrants and unions, of course the fucking poor
Wants them all as dead as ducks, and then he’d kill some more
The bastard fucking love child of Thatcher and Mister Bean
He’s the biggest fucking nob-head I’ve ever fucking seen
Call that a fucking politician? Call dogshit a bunch of daffs
Like Churchill on a mission? Don’t make me fucking laugh
Tory Party members, by definition fucking bigots
But really, get a fucking grip, you can’t elect this spigot
The only fucking use for him is to use him as a cork
Or flog him to a butcher, pass the fucker off as pork
It comes to fucking something, when given Hobson’s choice
Johnson’s worse than fucking nothing, and if we had a fucking voice
We’d even opt for the other prick, Jerry fucking Hunt
Even though – wait for it – he’s s total fucking…
Waste of space
The only fucking reason, though, that’d we’d go for nasty Jerry
Is to hear every fucking journo fuck his name up on the telly
So all you evil fucking bastards in Tory La La Land out there
Don’t vote for fucking Bozza cos it make me fucking swear!
(And I don’t mean allegiance to the Union fucking Jack)
Now, where’s that fucker Govie to stab Boris in the back?