Clearly, the NHS must get truly modern and adopt the model of comparable businesses who are successful, 7-Eleven being the obvious case in point. The country needs a 24/7 NHS in exactly the same way that we need an all-night supplier of kitchen roll. And Taquitos. Why, moreover, should we pay any extra or plan additional hours to get that which we should reasonably expect to have had all along? If there’s a budget deficit, well there’s no end of reasonable possibilities: junior doctors could find sponsors for their white coats, or drop the coats all together and get a decent kit deal; pertinently, while exercising their fabled bedside manners (!) they could sell health insurance at the point where demand is most glaringly obvious… Life insurance too. With an entrepreneurial mind-set, the world could be their oyster. You wouldn’t find an investment banker sitting on their arse waiting for test results, would you? Acne or skin cancer? Take a punt, move on to the next big deal.
Clearly, the NHS should be considered a part of the British economy just like IKEA. Moreover, it should be considered part of a capitalist economy, indeed a neoliberal capitalist economy. It should be expected to make a profit, cut costs, increase productivity and sell Swedish meatballs via franchised catering services. What’s the beef? Workers in other sectors have so clearly benefitted from 24/7 employment. Consider how they had the nation over a barrel before zero-hours contracts and internships - when they had unions who fought for their ‘rights’! That was so clearly wrong. And imagine society as a whole slipping back to the bad old days when we shared a communal day of rest. Quelle horreur! Next thing you know the British Medical Association will want to drag us back to the dark ages of home visits by your GP, having a GP you knew like a part of the family, and local hospitals that offered general services!
So shape up brats, swallow the pill, take your medicine. Given your access to pharmaceuticals, there is no reason at all for you to get tired at work. Imagine how much more difficult it is for the hard-working stock-broker who has to find his own dealer and take time out to meet in the The Blackfriar. And if you turn down the generous deal offered by the clearly honest broker and man of the people, Jeremy Richard Streynsham Hunt (Admiral Lord Hunt, MBA Oxon.), then expect the free market to operate. After all, there are plenty of us who can doodle a mean human brain in the margin of our jotters. ‘Pass the scalpel, Nike sponsored Neural surgeon coming through. Just do it!'
It's a no-brainer.