Hard working family fortunes
(To be read in the accent of Jacob Rees-Mogg with the class loathing of Andrew Mitchell)
Hard working British families, not scroungers on the dole
Hard working British families, not disabled, whole
Hard working British families, not immigrants or gays
Hard working British families, hard to find these days
Noses to the grindstone, shoulders to the wheel
Hard working British families, we know just how you feel
Because we’re all in this together, though not quite to the same degree
You’re in the shit we shit for you, while we sit pretty, see?
Hard work never killed anyone, well not anyone we know
Dontcha know dontcha know
Hard working British families, we know you’re going to go
Shopping on a Sunday, give us your wages back
Put it on the credit card, stick it back on our stack
Jack
Hard working British families, austerity means cuts
Tighten your hard-working belts while we stuff our Tory guts
We’ll preach you should hate your neighbours, teach you how to fear
That chap living next door to you? Muslim, Paedo, Queer!
Hard working British families, we’ve got you by the ‘nads
Hard working British families, all you young ‘uns, mums and dads
Hard working British families, you must be total twats
‘Hard working British families vote for privileged Eton prats’
Ex leader stuck his cocktail sausage in the dead chops of a pig
We burn fifties in front of homeless folk to make ourselves feel BIG
We’ve shafted you for ever, and now we’ll shaft some more
You bend your back and tip your cap, peasant to the core
Guv
Turkeys don’t vote for Christmas, spuds don’t vote for mash
Hard working British families, how come you’re so dash-ed rash?
The pledges of the ruling class are like a cheeky piss
They steam, they stink, they seep away, leave you nowt but this:
An ailing NHS, Trident replacement, fracking, a nuclear power nightmare, benefit cuts, heartless immigration policies, degraded human rights, child poverty, homelessness and a housing crisis, climate change… The list goes on and on.
And now there’s Chris Grayling!
Hard working British families: resign, emigrate divorce… It’s our only hope!